Up and Down

A rollercoaster, a seesaw, all over the place and less than stable are a few words that could be used to describe what my emotions have been like the last few months.

While the thought of actually riding on the roller coaster that is pictured makes me want to cry since I am scared of heights. I have been trying to get a handle on hormones without feeling like I was on said rollercoaster. Sorry to any male readers but this post is a female only issue.At the end of March I went off of hormonal birth control. I had been on pills for close to 15 years because a family history of endometriosis but the side effects were starting to outweigh the benefits. Migraines are something that have plagued me since I was 15 and as I have gotten older they have only gotten worse and after a lot of tests and switching of birth control brands it was suggested that the pill might not be the best option for me but it was up to me what other method I wanted to use. The doctor I had been seeing was helpful but not really willing to talk about natural options or a way to figure out how to manage both migraines and the desire to not be pregnant right now.

I decided I need to figure out what would work for me and not rely on hormonal methods. I bought Taking Charge of Your Fertility, read the entire book and discussed with Mike what the plan would be to ensure this worked for us. I also had quite a few email conversations with Tina, who has used this and was someone I could trust to give me honest advice. Thanks Tina! Other than blogging to the world about this I haven’t really talked about this with too many people because I have heard people comment that using temping is so “hippie, granola, will never work, a great way to get pregnant right away.” I can say that we haven’t had any issues in the 4 1/2 months we have been using this.

Even if you aren’t looking to go off hormonal birth control or get pregnant anytime soon it was very interesting to learn how to recognize what is going on with my body. The two months right after stopping the pill were rough, my hormones were all over the place and things were definitely not regular. But by month four it was starting to get better, I am still feeling like I could cry at any second or snap at a customer on the phone but the hormonal craziness is better than getting 6-8 migraines in a given month!

The plan is to keep using this method until we decide if/when we want to have kids, eventually either Mike or I will get something more permanent done but for the immediate future this will work just fine. We know for absolute sure that we do not want to get pregnant before next winter. I feel very strongly about not having kids before 30, this is my choice and not a reflection on anyone else’s choices but it was very important to me to go to grad school and get a good career going before kids were even a consideration.

Who knows what the future may bring! If you would have asked me two years ago if I wanted kids I would have said no. Today I am much more open to the idea but we not taking this decision lightly. We have many conversations about the topic and how we would divide parenting and what involvement would like. If we choose to have children it will because it is something that we have thoroughly thought thru and are not doing so because it is what you do after being married a year.

The one thing I do know is that I am living the life I choose. I am living a life full of passion and a desire to do things that make me happy. My life is surrounded by the people that I care about and love me for who I am. Over the past few years I have made a lot of really rewarding new friendships with people who are supportive and willing to listen. At the same time I have ended friendships with those who were not true friends.