Friday, June 24, 2011

Life Isn’t Perfect

June 24, 2011

This post has been on my mind for months, day after day I read posts that portray life as this wonderful thing surrounded by rainbows and butterflies. Now I know that it isn’t always as it seems but when your Google Reader is full of beautiful anniversary posts, pregnancy announcements, big career changes, and amazing blog opportunities I get caught up in their news and feel frustrated about myself. I feel frustrated that my life isn’t what I thought it would be at 30. I’ve had a few good cry’s about this and a bit of a breakdown on Sunday night but then I remember I am going through the hard things to get to the amazing ones.

 

I found myself frustrated and telling myself I wasn’t good enough because

 

  • I wasn’t in the perfect shape I wanted to be in
  • I wasn’t cooking enough
  • I didn’t feel like I had a home
  • I felt like I was in limbo
  • The great life that I thought I had was gone
  • My family drives me crazy and I wasn’t best friends with my Mom
  • My dog is so accident prone
  • I wasn’t decorating a house, planning for a baby or working on some amazing project

 

I had a good cry and a long talk on Sunday night and stopped thinking those things, I was reminded why I am good enough

 

  • I work hard in the gym and it shows, maybe I don’t have a fitness competitors body but I do have strong arms and legs, can make it through an 80 minute hot yoga class, did an un-assisted headstand at a Vinyasa class and had a guy at the gym stop his workout and add more weights when he realized I was lifting more than he was
  • I am often in the kitchen trying something new and vary rarely does it not turn out
  • While I may not own a house right now I have a great roommate and a great bonus dog
  • Sometimes it is ok to not have a plan, life changes and this time is all about setting myself up for amazing things
  • That great life I had was surface great, there was no communication, no trust and no true emotion
  • I am working hard on my relationship with my family, it isn’t always easy but it has come a long way and I have done a lot of forgiving
  • Even though Clifford has caused me some tears and financial craziness the saying that the dog chooses you is so true. Clifford cheers me up in so many ways.
  • I don’t have the time or energy for a house right now, I am so not ready for a baby and I have lots of fun projects I am working on
  • I am learning to let go, I let go of the drama and the negativity
  • Little things make me really happy
  • My life is full of fitness, food, travel and wine
  • I have an amazing boyfriend who is like no one else, the way he communicates and the affection he shows seriously amazes me
  • I knew I was strong but I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be
  • Showing emotion was never something I did much of and I have cried and laughed more in the last few months than I ever thought was possible
  • At the end of the day I control my happiness

 

I stopped comparing, I stopped the envy and I just let go. Knowing that my life is pretty darn good.

 

 

 

“Life is never going to be perfect and you need to realize that. People you thought you knew are going to turn into strangers. The one you thought you loved may be the person you hate the most someday. You’re going to be happy and you’re going to fall.You need to know life isn’t perfect and that’s what makes it best of all. Live your life for today and don’t forget to believe in yourself.”— Unknown

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Creature of Habit

June 24, 2011

I am a creature of habit. My grocery cart looks very similar every time I go, fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, peanut butter, eggs, some sort of tea, granola or cereal, and ingredients for what I am cooking that week. I organize my list by the order those items are in at the grocery store (Type A much?) and I even make the items that I have a coupon for with a ( c ). Yes, I am a creature of habit. I go to the same grocery store with the occasional trips to Costco, Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s for new items to try. If you would see my cart at Costco you would laugh. I look like the healthiest person when I leave there. The cart is full of fruit, veggies, hummus, eggs, and 1 bag of chips. Usually at least 3 kinds of fruit and 3 kinds of veggies. Not full of processed food like 90% of the other carts.

 

Most days I eat the exact same thing for breakfast, it is easy to pack and eat at my desk. I have a Greek Yogurt, usually Chobani, granola or dry cereal and at least 2-3 big mugs of tea. This was my breakfast 4 days this week. I might need to change it up a little ;)

 

 

Picture 050

 

What things make you a creature of habit?

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