Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Changing Perspectives

August 30, 2011

My life has done an 180 degree turn in the last 10 months, one day I was living the life I thought I wanted and then it changed. Change sucks, I lost weight, stopped caring about some of my passions and was just having a hard time getting up everyday and living. Then something happened. I changed my perspective. My mind went from gray and cloudy, to partly sunny and finally to beautiful bright sunny skies.

 

 

         

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

I decided to stop overanalyzing everything, to let go and make the life I wanted. I have worked hard the last 6 months, and I mean really hard. At forgiving, letting go, being more emotional, giving up control, learning to just enjoy a moment and not have to plan the next 10 years. The plan was to have no plan and just go with life. I did that, and that is hard for me to say! I lived life on my terms. I went on horrible dates and laughed about them (a few of the stories I’ve told, people are just shocked by how horrible they really were), did a lot of listening to my gut, I found a new job that challenges and rewards me, I nourished long term friendships and made some amazing new ones.

 

The feeling of I have to do this and I have to do that isn’t as strong. I still keep myself pretty busy but I take time for myself to just unwind, to write, to cook, to take a yoga class and to just live life. No longer do I beat myself up for missing a workout or eating something unhealthy. I just go with it. I live a healthy lifestyle and continue to strive towards even better overall health. The boyfriend played a big part in all of this, he pushes me in the right way to just let go. He talks through everything, we have had more serious conversations in the 6 months we’ve been together than I ever had in previous relationships. Opposite of every other relationship, he isn’t my “type” and we have very different interests in life but I felt something the night I met him. It may not have been love at first site but it was a deep connection. Everyday I remind myself to be thankful, for how incredibly strong I am, for how hard I have worked, for the amazing people in my life and for having the capacity to change my perspective.

 

I have my moments where I feel anger, sadness, and frustration about my previous situation and where my life is now but it is a process and I am working through it all. 1 month, 1 year and maybe even 5 years from now I will still be working towards happiness but I know it is much more achievable now. Living a life filled with my passions of fitness, food, travel, and wine, amazing people, unique experiences and a positive outlook.

 

This guy. The guy who has changed my life. A hard working, kind hearted, funny, spontaneous, sexy, and the kind of a guy who would drop anything to come help you. Otherwise known as the boyfriend, who I have yet to say his name on the blog to maintain a tiny bit of privacy. There are some scary people out there so I never say the town that I actually live in, the boyfriends name, where he lives, and the name of the company where I work. I don’t need a certain few crazy and destructive people getting involved when they really don’t know anything about my life!

 

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