My life has done an 180 degree turn in the last 10 months, one day I was living the life I thought I wanted and then it changed. Change sucks, I lost weight, stopped caring about some of my passions and was just having a hard time getting up everyday and living. Then something happened. I changed my perspective. My mind went from gray and cloudy, to partly sunny and finally to beautiful bright sunny skies.
I decided to stop overanalyzing everything, to let go and make the life I wanted. I have worked hard the last 6 months, and I mean really hard. At forgiving, letting go, being more emotional, giving up control, learning to just enjoy a moment and not have to plan the next 10 years. The plan was to have no plan and just go with life. I did that, and that is hard for me to say! I lived life on my terms. I went on horrible dates and laughed about them (a few of the stories I’ve told, people are just shocked by how horrible they really were), did a lot of listening to my gut, I found a new job that challenges and rewards me, I nourished long term friendships and made some amazing new ones.
The feeling of I have to do this and I have to do that isn’t as strong. I still keep myself pretty busy but I take time for myself to just unwind, to write, to cook, to take a yoga class and to just live life. No longer do I beat myself up for missing a workout or eating something unhealthy. I just go with it. I live a healthy lifestyle and continue to strive towards even better overall health. The boyfriend played a big part in all of this, he pushes me in the right way to just let go. He talks through everything, we have had more serious conversations in the 6 months we’ve been together than I ever had in previous relationships. Opposite of every other relationship, he isn’t my “type” and we have very different interests in life but I felt something the night I met him. It may not have been love at first site but it was a deep connection. Everyday I remind myself to be thankful, for how incredibly strong I am, for how hard I have worked, for the amazing people in my life and for having the capacity to change my perspective.
I have my moments where I feel anger, sadness, and frustration about my previous situation and where my life is now but it is a process and I am working through it all. 1 month, 1 year and maybe even 5 years from now I will still be working towards happiness but I know it is much more achievable now. Living a life filled with my passions of fitness, food, travel, and wine, amazing people, unique experiences and a positive outlook.
This guy. The guy who has changed my life. A hard working, kind hearted, funny, spontaneous, sexy, and the kind of a guy who would drop anything to come help you. Otherwise known as the boyfriend, who I have yet to say his name on the blog to maintain a tiny bit of privacy. There are some scary people out there so I never say the town that I actually live in, the boyfriends name, where he lives, and the name of the company where I work. I don’t need a certain few crazy and destructive people getting involved when they really don’t know anything about my life!






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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post! I am so happy for you, and it is nice to see you so happy.
PS-Remember the Ballet Barre class we took in Feb. I was going to go again, but now you have to reserve a spot at 5 am the DAY BEFORE. Can you believe it?
I absolutely LOVED reading this post! I am glad that you are able to let go, and just see where life takes you. Life is too short not to beat yourself up over an extra ice cream now and then!
My husband is a WONDERFUL communicator and has helped me over the years to speak up for myself, say no when I don’t want to do something, and stop being a people pleaser – while it was hard in the beginning, I’ve come to realize it’s MY life and in the end I am the one who can determine if I am happy – not family, friends, or things.
Go you!
Having met your S.O. he is such a nice guy…You two are an amazing couple.. He is willing and able to do the world for you… Count your stars, you are both incredibly lucky to have each other!!
I know I’m a little late to the game, but I wanted to express how happy I am for you! It sounds like you have found someone that makes you happy and loves you! You have made the absolute best of a bad situation!
Good for you, and I hope things continue to go well!
I really enjoyed this article Mellissa! We don’t know each other that closely, but I have seen such a difference in you over the last 6 months-year. You’ve been through a lot, no question about that. You seem to have come out on top, living life the way you want to live it. You seem more connected, soft, and loving, and I’ve seen that without being around you that often. I hope you successfully continue down the road you are on, towards true happiness. It looks like you are enjoying yourself along the way, and that’s what matters! Cheers to the new you! <3
Elaina
Awesome post….I so enjoy hearing your stories both past and present and am glad to be one of your new “awesome” friends /grin.